The Second Key To A Happier Holiday
Hi to you all,
In my last post, I pointed out the fun you’ll have during the planning stage of your holiday—but I also cautioned you, after the dreamy stage, to take time to do some realistic planning that anticipates problems. At one point I hinted that I’d reveal two particular pitfalls you can largely avoid with forward planning. That is the topic of today’s post.
The first pitfall concerns space and crowding. When we’re not on holiday, few if any of us spend all our time in one place with the same people. But when we go away, that’s often exactly what we do. Research has shown that when mammals feel too crowded and don’t have a retreat, they become aggressive. No wonder tempers seem to flare on holiday!
You can avoid this by prioritising space. When budgeting, it’s wiser to spend your money on the largest accommodation you can afford than to spend it going as far away as possible. Lots of space is more important even than choosing the most luxurious accommodation. This is because no matter how posh a place is, if you’re too close together, you’re likely to become irritable.
Once you’ve chosen a roomy place, ask each family member, or whoever is going with you, to choose an ‘own space’, so each has somewhere to go if it’s raining outside, and/or they need some time on their own. This needn’t be a large space, just a place to put their own belongings, where they can feel they’re on their own.
The second pitfall is a lack of freedom. One of the main reasons some people—especially teenagers—may dread a holiday is if they’re told they have to do everything everyone else does, all the time.
Forget the ‘You can’t possibly miss this historic monument,’ or, ‘You’ll thank me in future for insisting you tour this museum.’ Everyone will have a different idea of what constitutes the perfect holiday, including what they wish to do and see. Therefore, in so far as is safe and possible for each person, allow each to choose how to spend their day. You can make this far easier if, in the planning stage, you choose a location that has lots to offer everyone who will be on the holiday.
That said, it’s important at the same time that you forge some joint memories during your time away, which encourages strong bonds in the long term. To make sure this happens, specify a couple of (hopefully enjoyable) fixed times each day when you all get together. Meal time is an obvious choice.
For example, tell everyone the evening before, ‘Lunch tomorrow will be at 12.30, and I’m ordering takeaway. Let me know what you’d most like to have and I’ll order it for you.’ Those meal times—or as another possibility, games times in the evening—will be more fun when you’ve allowed everyone who’s old enough to spend some of their day their own way, because each person will have something interesting to add to the conversation.
One final note: there is one unpalatable rule that you will have to enforce if you want everyone with you to enjoy new experiences they’ll remember. You will have to limit phone and screen use. Do this realistically of course—and you must also abide by the limits you impose to make it seem fair. But screens can be looked at anywhere, whereas what exists in a new place will only be remembered if it’s actually experienced.
OK, time to make those holiday plans!
Warmest wishes,
Linda