Hello and welcome back,
What’s your first instinct when you meet a new dog? I’m guessing it’s to reach out to touch it. Am I right?
Our primal instincts compel us to touch each other. We hold hands, kiss, cuddle, stroke, and hug. We show affection through touch. And as we use touch to show the people in our life that we love them, it’s understandable that we want to touch our dogs too.
Have you watched dogs interacting with each other? They sniff, circle, bow, and wag their tails… but there doesn’t tend to be a lot of touching. In fact, when we do see a dog putting their paw on another, we can read it as a sign of dominance.
We often hear that dogs hate to be hugged - and for good reason. Hugs restrict our dogs’ movements - they aren’t able to back up away from us. Hugging our dogs, burying our face into their fur, also prevents us from seeing their body language. It might be that your dog is clearly trying to tell you that they’re not very comfortable with this act of intended love.
It’s important that we respect our dogs’ individual approach to touch. Some dogs are happy to embrace physical affection, some will endure it, but some can respond fearfully or aggressively when you move in for that cuddle or stroke.
The ‘3 touch rule’ is a great way to give your dog some much needed choice when it comes to physical contact. Gently, stroke your dog in a comfortable spot (the side of their body or chest are best, avoiding the head) 3 times. Then stop. Remove your hand and see what your dog does. Do they snuggle in for more, nudging your hand? Or do they move away, yawn, or shake off the stress of that interaction?
If your dog doesn’t enjoy being touched, don’t feel that signals a lack of love for you or the other humans in their life. There are many other ways you can share mutually beneficial moments together - through play, walks, feeding, or learning new skills.
Until next time, respect your dog’s space and share moments of love that you both can enjoy,
Caroline
beautifully written, and full of wisdom