How To Turn Distress Into Eustress
Hi there, and welcome back,
In my first blog this month, I defined ‘stress’ and explained the difference between the two main types of stress, distress and eustress.
To recap, distress arises when a challenge feels overwhelming and painful, and in the long run it may lead to a loss of self-esteem. Distress is something to avoid whenever possible.
Eustress, on the other hand, also arises when you feel challenged, but in this case you view the challenge as something that, with effort, you can overcome. Eustress promotes self-esteem and helps give life meaning and purpose, so it’s something to welcome.
But stress doesn’t come to us in thoughtful, acceptable packages! And anyway, if you’re living wisely, the distinction you make between distress and eustress will be constantly evolving.
Therefore, what I’d like to offer you today are some ways you can change distress into eustress, thus maximising your opportunities to experience wellbeing There are three ways you can do this.
You could break the challenge into smaller steps so that each step becomes something you can expect to achieve.
Or you could increase your skill set so you’re better able to meet a particular challenge.
Or you might choose to change the way you talk about the challenge and your ability to face up to it.
Let’s look at an example to illustrate these three approaches. Imagine that your work colleagues or a group of your friends wants to raise money for a charity, so each person in the office or friendship group is asked to run a marathon and find sponsors to raise money for their efforts.
But let’s also imagine that you’ve never thought of yourself as an athlete, and that you’ve never run far, let alone for 26 miles!
You could of course simply tell everyone you’re not any good at running and leave it at that. But think of the chance you’re missing to improve your fitness, to be part of a group effort, and to make a positive difference to the charity!
Instead, you could improve your skill set. Find a running club you can join and start building stamina. Or invest in a couple of hours of expertise from a personal trainer who could accurately assess your current level of ability and then help you create a stepped routine so you can safely increase the distance you can run.
Or you could break this challenge down into smaller steps, each a size that feels achievable. Why not, for example, aim to run a half marathon if you think you can manage it, or even a quarter marathon? Many people would admire your efforts and sponsor you, however far you’re proposing to run.
Third, you could change your self-talk. Instead of telling yourself you can’t run, or that 26 miles is impossible, say you’re going to go as far as you safely can, and that effort counts for more than distance.
If you use one, or even several, of these techniques, you’ll soon discover how much more you can do than you ever imagined!
Until next time, my very best wishes,
Linda