February: The Month of Love
Hi and welcome back,
February marks the earliest hints of Spring, the season of hope and new beginnings, when plants begin to wake up and the time when many creatures give birth.
For humans, the middle of the month is a time to honour our romantic relationships, the day to send our loved one a token of our devotion. Some historians believe this may be linked to the pagan celebration of Luper Calia, a fertility festival. In the Middle Ages in France and England, the 14th of February was also linked to fertility, as it was believed to be the beginning of birds’ mating season.
Most of us, however, think of the 14th as Valentine’s Day, a date chosen to mark the day of this saint’s death or burial, around AD 270. Valentine was a priest who lived in the Rome under the rule of Emperor Claudius II. Claudius believed that single men made better soldiers than those who were married and perhaps fathers, so he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine felt it was unfair to deny men the chance to express their devotion to one other, so he continued to perform marriages secretly. Alas, he was caught, and Claudius ordered the priest be put to death. But today, we honour him for his courage and the way he demonstrated his love for others.
Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck, in his book The Road Less Travelled, defines love in a way that describes Valentine’s sacrifice clearly: ‘Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or [when showing love to others] another’s spiritual growth’. Peck adds: ‘Love is an act of will—namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.’
Love implies trust, loyalty, forgiveness, and a willingness to understand another person’s point of view and to support that point of view even when we might not share it. Unlike infatuation, which occurs instantly and is only about physical attraction and reproduction, love takes time and effort to develop.
This Valentine’s Day, I encourage you not just to send a card or gift to your partner, but to think of ways every day you can show them how much you care.
In my next blog I’ll offer some specific ways you can show love, both towards your partner and also towards yourself—and why the latter is necessary for the former.
Until next time,
Linda